When I'm in my pit:
My phone doesn't work
I don't want to "tweet"
All I want to do is
and NOT EXERCISE!!!
Many of you are worried about me...and you don't know why.
Under normal circumstances I would just retreat to my pit and let no one know. But for some reason, this time, I had to open my big mouth and tell you.
Here's what happened...
Things had been going well. I discovered The Daily Plate, bought my Bodybugg, had my metabolism figured out, and ultimately lost a few pounds, breaking my several month plateau. I finally felt like I'd hit my stride. Surely now the weight would melt off like it had done many months ago. I was determined to reach my goal of 100lbs lost by the end of the year. To add to it, I was now counting calories so I KNEW I was eating my 1700 a day. I also had my Bodybugg so I KNEW I was burning 1000 more calories than I ate each day (with Tina, Zumba, and an additional workout every day). Every night I download the data onto my computer and it told me that I was d0ing everything right to lose 2lbs a week.
I was so excited to weigh that first week. I'd been exercising twice a day and had even renewed my passion to reach my goal of running a mile in 10 minutes. I'd never worked so hard in my life! So you can imagine my surprise when the scale told me I'd gained .8lbs! How did I GAIN a pound? I called Tina and she convinced me that we had worked so hard with heavy weights that week. Muscle weighs more than fat. Ok. I believed her.
Besides, I was going on tour with Don Moen. No time to worry about that now. So the tour began and I daily KILLED myself in the gym. I'd never sweated so much in my life (and I can sweat)! Running on the treadmill, running on the beach, using weight machines, push-ups, crunches, squats. And the food? I passed up high-fat fast food and ate salads, lean proteins, fiber bars. I even discovered The Daily Plate app on my ipod touch, still ensuring I was withing my daily caloric intake. My Bodybugg even told me that I burned an average of 300 calories during my 45 minute show. I felt so good by the end of that week that when I looked in the mirror I could actually SEE a difference in my body. Surely I would see not only a 2lbs loss from this week but my body would probably make up for last week by giving me 2 more lbs shed!
I bounced out of bed Tuesday morning ready for Zumba, and ready for the scale. I can't describe the hurt I felt when the dreaded scale told me I had gained .4 more lbs!!! WHAT!?!?! I'M DOING EVERYTHING RIGHT HERE!!!
That's when I told myself that if I'm gonna gain weight I might as well enjoy it. What am I killing myself for?
Muscle weighs more than fat? BALONEY!
Water retension? WHATEVER!
Menstrual cycle? NOWHERE NEAR IT!
Forget Zumba. I went back to bed. Canceled Tina for the rest of the week. And ate!
I'm still very much in my pit. I usually don't tell you guys until I'm out of it. I know that all of my super spiritual brothers and sister out there may have lost respect for me because of a measly 1.2lbs. I think I've lost respect for myself. I'm sorry if I let you down. Sounds stupid, I know. I can't explain my frustration. I'm working so hard and feel like it's all in vain.
I know that I'll be flooded with people quoting me scriptures and maybe even some of my own song lyrics. I know. I can quote them myself. That doesn't change the way I feel right now.
I appreciate all of your concern and messages you sent me via twitter. I told you I would be honest with you. I let you guys in when I'm on top of the world. Might as well let you in when I'm in my pit.
Now I'm heading to my bus to Ewomen in WV. Don't feel like putting on a mask than grins and lies. Think I won't.